The Style Invitational Week 980 Def Jam
By Pat Myers, Thursday, July 12, 1:19 PM
As always with our perennial
Join Now neologism contests, Week 976 provided lots of funny combinations of
parts of words to make new ones, as you’ll see from this week’s results. And
also as always, the Empress received dozens of entries in which the new word
was nifty but the accompanying definition a bit niftless.
This week we’re going to do a little crowdsourcing: Supply a humorous
definition for any of these promising Loser-penned neologisms. You may add a
hyphen if you like, wherever you like. Keep in mind that because we’re working
from only a few dozen words, many entries are sure to have the same general
idea. So the ink will flow to the best-written ones; using the word in a funny
sentence might help (using the word in an unfunny sentence will not).
Lafado • Polikin • Beerate • Briswards • Egotor • Manese • Funassiere • Laffast • Medpics • Nixotica • Butthoven • Irritaparent • Punative • Flattivist • Humsic • Hypire • Underuck • Egofast • Hyphoon • Wecation • Mentra • Egoperate • Egojunctions • Harpoonerisms • Ignorent • Polititithing • Diffecation • Prevolving • Neonated • biPod • Frankenfriendly • Punfail • Losery • Incache • Twithy • Beemen • Genew
Winner gets the Inkin’ Memorial, the bobblehead
that is the official Style Invitational trophy. Second place receives a very
cute little foam-stuffed black-and-white cat. It’s slightly different from most
toy cats, though: this one has a Velcro-attachable head, with a blood-red neck
area. It’s called Stress Relief Kitty. See, it’s relaxing to carefully put the
head on. Donated by Andrea Kelly.
Other runners-up win their
choice of a coveted Style Invitational Loser T-shirt, a yearned-for Loser Mug
or the ardently desired Grossery Bag. Honorable
mentions get a lusted-after Loser magnet. First Offenders get a smelly,
tree-shaped air “freshener” (Fir Stink for their first ink). E-mail entries to
losers@washpost.com or fax to 202-334-4312. Deadline is Monday, July 23;
results published Aug. 12 (online Aug. 10). No more than 25 entries per entrant
per week. Include “Week 980” in your e-mail subject line or it might be ignored
as spam. Include your real name, postal address and phone number with your
entry. See contest rules and guidelines at wapo.st/inviterules.
The subhead for this week’s honorable mentions is by Jeff Contompasis;
the alternative headline in the “next week’s results”
line is by Chris Doyle. Join the Style Invitational Devotees on Facebook
at on.fb.me/invdev..
Report from Week 976, in which we asked you to combine the beginning of one word or name
appearing in that week’s Style Invitational or Style Conversational with the
end of another word to make a new term: Shockingly, we got many entries
featuring the syllable “poop”!
The winner of the Inkin’
Memorial
Ignorial: A monument that nobody visits. (Robert Schechter,
Dix Hills, N.Y.)
2. Winner of the “Pat the
Politician” parody book:
Hyattsvilification: The reflexive dismissal of anything located in
Prince George’s County. (David Smith, formerly of Greenbelt, Md.)
3. Enthusala:
A 90-year-old man on Viagra. (Christopher Lamora,
Guatemala City)
4. Bristen:
To welcome an infant boy into the Jewish and Christian faiths simultaneously;
also known as “Snip ’n’ Dip.” (Larry Gray, Union Bridge, Md.)
Sub-merges: Honorable mentions
Eroti-tistical: “I’m sure it was good for you, too.” (Julie Thomas
and Will Cramer, Herndon, Va.)
Disc-gust: The reaction of
every generation to the next generation’s music. (Gary Crockett, Chevy Chase,
Md.)
Part-protected: Unprotected.
(Brad Alexander, Wanneroo, Australia)
Atchoo: The inevitable direction in which someone else
sneezes. (Beverley Sharp, Montgomery, Ala.)
Vow-ill: Wedding-related
nerves, often accompanied by a cry of “ai-ai-ai.”
(Steven Alan Honley, Washington)
Don-thing: A charitable name
for Trump’s hairdo. (Mae Scanlan, Washington)
Face-fax: An office prank in
which the perpetrator tends to get caught. (Rob Wolf, Gaithersburg, Md.)
Om-boy: A member
of the Dalai Lama’s posse. (Chris Doyle, Ponder, Tex.)
Beet-head: Well, you said you
hated being called “carrot top.” (Edmund Conti, Raleigh, N.C.)
Badmired: Ill-behaved yet still respected. — Bill C.,
Chappaqua, N.Y. (Jeff Contompasis, Ashburn, Va.)
Mornication: A little something to start the day. (Larry Gray)
Jeleton: The internal strength of a politician. (Brad
Alexander; Sarah Gustafson, Vienna, Va., a First Offender)
Charport: A house’s garage after its owner tries out that new
turkey fryer on a cold Thanksgiving day (Lawrence McGuire, Waldorf, Md.)
Crockney: A comically bogus East London accent, like Dick Van
Dyke’s in “Mary Poppins.” (Barbara Turner, Takoma Park, Md.)
Poopier-mache: Really scratchy TP. (Chris Doyle)
Exwards: Where most celebrity marriages are heading. (Andy
Bassett, New Plymouth, New Zealand)
Ousty: In the mood to remove someone from office.
“Wisconsin voters weren’t as ousty as previously
thought.” (Jeff Contompasis)
Ding-mon:
Jamaican for “more cowbell.” (Ellen Raphaeli, Falls
Church, Va.)
Loincraft: The art of being a porn star. (Tom Witte, Montgomery
Village, Md.)
Grampoo: Hair-care product that leaves your hair smelling
like BenGay and boiled cabbage. (Larry Gray)
Poospaper: Excreta! Excreta! Read all about it! (Larry Gray)
Her-otica:
“Ooh, baby, I wanna do your laundry.” (Mike Gips, Bethesda, Md.)
Erot-ish: PG-13. (Elva Salcedo,
Williamsburg, Va., a First Offender)
Memopause: When the ink in your pen dries out. (Mike Gips)
Gradualate: Take seven years to get a BA. (Chris
Doyle)
Inkday: Every Sunday, of course. — C. Doyle (Judy
Blanchard, Novi, Mich.)
Next week’s results: Lost in Translation
2.0, or Lingua Pranka